Happy Monday y’all! Today I am mid flight off to NYC for work. We are doing some additional work on the World Trade Center Memorial for people who have passed from cancer and the different illnesses caused by the 9/11 attacks. This will be my second time at the memorial - it’s always so moving and emotional. I’m pretty excited because tomorrow the director of the memorial will be giving us a private tour of places underground that the general public does not get to see. I see a blog post in my future... Anyways, the reason I’m writing today is there is something that has been heavy on my heart and mind that I thought I should share will all of you.
This past week and a half was tough. My first valentines, birthday and wedding anniversary alone, all within one week. After surviving Christmas and Kyle’s birthday I thought I would be good. And most days I am. Then it’s that one memory or moment that hits you and takes you out at the knees. Valentine’s Day to me is over rated (no offense)- so that day was no big deal. My birthday was amazing because of all the friends and family I have. Then came the wedding anniversary, which would of been number 4 but instead was number 1 without him. It hit me... the one person I wanted to celebrate the day with, wasn’t there. It was rough. I didn’t want to get out of bed. For some reason I was wide awake at 4:30 am in anticipation of the day. First thing I did was watched our wedding video - just to hear his voice was absolutely priceless. To see the love he had for me was a reminder of how lucky I am and was when he was around.
I headed to the gym and worked out with my favorite workout buddies. Got myself ready and off I was to work. I listened to our wedding song on repeat - sort of cliche now “I won’t give up” by Jason Mraz. It brought continuous tears to my eyes. I got to work and I couldn’t find the strength to go in, I sat in my car for a good 10 minutes until someone pulled in next to me. In my head I could hear Kyle saying - “Quit that crying”. I get to my desk and there are (4) roses with a card that says “Happy Anniversary Momma Bear” thanks to one of my thoughtful friends, Cari. The tears flowed, and I’m pretty sure the guys I sit next to had no idea what to say or do... I’m usually the jokester, loud mouth at work (surprise, surprise) but today was different.
The messages and love continued all day - which was amazing and overwhelming at the same time. Roses at noon - 5 of them (not sure what that symbolizes) lol... it made for a good laugh after I found out who the sender was, I won’t mention any names, Mom. 😜 That night I had dinner with a friend and 4 dozen roses waiting at home from another friend. I’m completely spoiled to say the least...
All of that was absolutely wonderful but there was something that stood out and stayed with me all day. I got this message with a picture...
“Kayla I didn't know what to say this morning after I read your post. I was looking at pictures and came across ones from Rollies when we were there at the same time and then I saw this post last night and thought that it was very fitting for you and Kyle. I hope you have an amazing day remembering all of the happy memories from the day. Hugs too you! Your an amazing woman❤ Happy Anniversary”
I found myself sitting at my desk, sobbing with goosebumps. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, how can you not see this as a sign from above? For Shanna to find this photo and share it with me was a complete gift and day maker for me. I was in absolute aw when I got this and had to share with others who would understand the power of this picture and message... Just when I was starting to question if I was on the right path and doing the right thing I was reassured by someone! 😇
This gets me back to my first point - if it’s on your heart and on your mind act on it. Shanna could of totally ran across this and thought hey that’s cool but not pass it along to me. However I was on her heart and mind obviously for a reason. I believe this happens everyday - multiple times a day to all of us. Some of the best text messages are “Hey, you were on my mind this morning. Hope all is well.” For me, typically those messages were on days where I needed a little extra love. Could it be a coincidence? Sure, call it what you want... but seriously act on it. We can all use a little extra love in our life at times. I had a similar situation where someone who knew Kyle had a very vivid dream where Kyle wanted to tell me he was okay. That message came the day after, I was saying a prayer wondering if he was okay and wondering what he does up there all day... coincidence? I don’t think so...
“Your heart determines your direction and your direction determines your destiny.”
I’ve learned that by opening up and sharing my passions, it has opened doors that I could of never imagined. Its welcomed new friendships. Its strengthened old friendships and helped me to appreciate the little things. My hope for all of you is that you can open your hearts and minds to the daily signs in your life. Be mindful. Be present. Open your heart and mind. Share it with the world.
Have a good week!
XOXO - 😘
Kayla Strand ❤️
#INDYMN #INDYtribe #ImNotDoneYetMN #INDYfoundation